that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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