last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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