God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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