I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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