No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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