we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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