Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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