Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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