C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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