please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
