The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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