gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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