a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
