i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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