I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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