Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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