my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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