I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
