I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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