if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have grass duct taped all over my body
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
