Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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