Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
