Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
