it hurts more in the daytime
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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