Please, let me fuck your mom
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Are these your boobs on my camera?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
