ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
