My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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