they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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