i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So here I am, sexting at work.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize