you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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