I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
