Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
