I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
