he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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