last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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