Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?