Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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  (706): dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you. http://tfl.nu/te9j
  Replies (23) Good night (5863) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated

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  (517): There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated http://tfl.nu/7pju
  Replies (10) Good night (1290) Bad night (4868) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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  (847): I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire http://tfl.nu/ncts
  Replies (10) Good night (4942) Bad night (1475) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week

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  (303): I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week http://tfl.nu/xhkj
  Replies (11) Good night (4138) Bad night (1501) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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  (301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d
  Replies (30) Good night (2790) Bad night (7464) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter

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  (518): no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter http://tfl.nu/ikrf
  Replies (5) Good night (3633) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.

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  (613): Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi. http://tfl.nu/hd9g
  Replies (9) Good night (3829) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  you motherfucker

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  (512): her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening" (1-512): you motherfucker http://tfl.nu/runr
  Replies (27) Good night (4129) Bad night (496)
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  (607): View more from New York

  wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager

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  (607): wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager http://tfl.nu/0mj0
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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  (479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

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  (303): Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/mbmy
  Replies (2) Good night (1267) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.

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  (317): Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart. http://tfl.nu/9c5h
  Replies (3) Good night (323) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.

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  (563): I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers. http://tfl.nu/w57w
  Replies (7) Good night (1880) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear

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  (215): I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear http://tfl.nu/l6yx
  Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt

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