You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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