When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize