But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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