I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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