i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
