When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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