We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
