I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
