i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize