Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
