Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
