In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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