Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
