from now on my penis is your penis
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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