I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
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