saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
