U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i came on her dog
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
