My room smells like vodka and shame
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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