Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
